My friend has a problem... We call her LuLu.
There is someone that she has been seeing for a little over a year now. She adores him with her life. Loves being with him, talking to him and when their together its like a fairy tale... Now she isn't the type of person who would get hung over guys or much less be interested in someone for more then a few weeks. Lulu expressed to me that she finds it weird that she can see a future (pass 2 months) with this guy...
Their not exclusive... They speak all the time, their both extremely supportive of each others work and goals. They see each other as much as possible (he lives overseas)... A couple months into their relationship she had seen him with another women... Of course he lied about not seeing her when she saw them in public ---> even though he looked right at her. Her problem with that was that he lied. She doesn't care if he was seeing other people cause she was doing the same... Because of that incident she could never trust him and he knows that. She had tired several times to forget about him and cut all ties. When she would slowly move on and he wasn't much of a thought, he would reappear. She promised me that she would be careful and have a back bone when it comes to him.
She told me a couple months later that they have spoke about making the relationship exclusive. They discussed their pro & cons, their situation and how each other felt about one an other. They both agreed on taking it slow...
What do you think she should do?
I Read The Blog Post. As Always I Never Try To Discourage Anyone From Doing Themselves Because I Always Think You Should Do You. But In My Personal Opinion I Don't Know If Stepping Back Into The Realationship Is The Most Healthy Thing, 'Cause You Never Know If The Same Thing Will Happen Again.
ReplyDeletelie once.he will lie again.he had no reason to yet he still did.imagine when there is a valid reason(in his mind--men can make all types of excuses when they want)imagine you are now exclusive,now imagine the pain and embarassemnet that could have been saved. prevention is a hard learnt lesson.personally i trust no man(or most women) unless their is a unbreakable bond(share of life pain/something very real we both went through-->odds of finding that are like winning the lotto)then your on the same page,if not,the book will never even start. anyone who does not make it exclusive initially(esp with you or lulu or wtv) has skeletons that they want to hide or if genuine(very rare)needs to b more aggressive(with me at atleast).we all do have skeletons, its just the amount that should scare lulu.the road to hell was paved with good intentions. so he will tell you everything and anything you want to hear(and depending how smart he is)fairy tales are very dangerous..that is not reality."take it slow" is a drake and belly song..you get the point,right.i think you should revise it now..always good to get an outside the box perspective.if its not your health at stake you should just take it lightly.everything is second to that.trust is a key ingrediant in any relationship, w/o it things will be hopeless.hope this helps.PEACE&LOVE
ReplyDeleteThis happened to my best friend recently and I will share the same advice with you.
ReplyDeletemake you friend aware the there is no relationship if the is no trust. she needs to follow her instincts. I don't care what anyone says, people never change and defintely not overnight.
As my mother and my godmother would say never settle for second best. and this dude sounds like he's not even worth the title of 2nd best.
Tell her to think about it. We are suppose to learn from our mistake not repeat them.
MEN ARE DAWGGS>>THEY JUST WANNA BONE!
ReplyDeleteDear Lulu:
ReplyDeleteNow listen. When you get with a man, you needn't have to stress. Everything you work on with that person should be worth it. If you have to ask yourself "Is this worht it?" It probably isnt.
Second thing is EVALUATE: Evaluate his current circumstance, if he wasnt able to stay "faithful" while in the same city with you, what makes you think that he'll be able to whilst away in another city?
To any good skyscraper it must have a good foundation to be built on. As in a relationship, trust is the foundation that a good relationship is built on. If you don't have that (if you have to question it, you probably don't) than you dont have much to go off of.
The first place to start is to let him know about your insecurities and see if he offers solutions or plausable reassurance. If he does that means you have something to work with.
In closing:
I'm sure Lulu has got a life of her own and is well and capable to give her trust to someone, and he get it right the first time, and not fuck it up! It's so easy for girls to cut the drama-cancer out of their lives if it has a pussy and talked shit. But why is it when dick hits the equation we have to second guess ourselves?
There are plenty of Fish in the sea.(Easier typed than done) Catch one.
DRAMA-CANCER FREE SINCE 07 BABY!
-Rach
rach --- wtf u talkin bout cancer for?...watch that word blockhead...unless you have a malignant disease dont use that word as a surogate for your petty men" drama"..fucking idiot i hope you will one day find out the true meaning of cancer-free, actually.. let me rephrase that..i hope you DONT because if you have it.. I HOPE IT KILLS YOU.
ReplyDeleteIN CLOSING:
watch your fucking mouth you dumb bitch.
cot damnnn!!!.......shit.....i just forgot what i was going to write.....ummmm......WOW....this blog is serious.......laura went innnnnn!!!damnnn......sorry....speechless right now..... :0
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteYour inability to relay what you had to say eloquently, instead opting to use profanics was less than charming.
Come for me I'm waiting in the burbs.
You'll find me because its easy, I have an '08 M3 in the driveway! LOL being dumb doesnt get you A BMW, triple garage with your name on that shit! lol little girls with too much talk!
No, I have never had cancer and I apologize for the misuse of this word!
Point taken.
NOTED.
MOVING ON... to my LV purse that needs to be shelved. It's speedy 35 damier ebene type weather.
MUAH,
Gotta love those candid haters!
- RACHEL (yes thats my real name)
p.s. in my neighborhood (the suburbs) M3's are common, so be sure to look for the navy blue one!
ReplyDeleteK honest ladies NOT on my blog!
ReplyDeleteLaura I think you took Rach's comment out of txt... I would appreciate it if you didn't comment like that again on my blog - THIS GOES FOR EVERYONE!
If you respect Domo & I this wont happen again... BUT I appreciate the comments and those who are contributing to the post, my girl really appreciates it!
xoxo
I lost both my parents to cancer.
ReplyDeleteI wasnt trying to be eloquent nor charming.
sorry for the language reesie + domo..i was just heated at the moment..too many people seem to think cancer is a word to be thrown around lightly.
as for rachel:your burbs, lv, m2, whatever.. good for you..im honestly glad you mention this...shows how empty your life truly is,very vain, very meaningless, very sad. hope god enlightens you to show how beautiful life can be.
apologies again ladies of altamoda...
besos and abrazos
xoxo
p.s. I AM NOT going back and forth with you rachel.
ReplyDeleteI completely stand by Reese with this, however, I'm sincerely sorry about your losses Laura and that they had to be brought up this way. I understand where you're coming from, but in regards to the entire situation...both of you should watch what the say and how they say it. People say the wrong things & make mistakes. You never know who you might offend.
ReplyDeletePEACE!
Its alll love here at AltaModa! ♥
My advice to lulu guard your heart and don't let your wall down all the way. I total feel this situation the only difference with mine is me and that person have a daughter together. One more thing always put yourself and your happiness first!
ReplyDelete